on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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