pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
