just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
