Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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