I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
