Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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