you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
