I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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