I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
