im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
