It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
