Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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