oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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