i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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