I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
