Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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