My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
