Whod you bang
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
