Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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