I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
should my penis look like a turkey
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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