worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
