I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
