Redeem this text for a blowjob
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
