nut hugger
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
