so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My life is pants optional.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
