are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize