im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
