If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize