I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
