i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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