You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
