Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i think my cat just said my name.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
