I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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