During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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