Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
