u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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