rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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