You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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