Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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