shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
