We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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