I just cut my nipple shaving
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
