i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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