I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you guys were way drunker than both of me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
