Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
