No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
