so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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