so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
