What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
