did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
