All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
