I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize