It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
