Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
