butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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