TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
