I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The Olympian is in my bed
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
