apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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