I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
