ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize