Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
