So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
