Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If I die, sorry about rent.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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