im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
