It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
