You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
