i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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