So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
