He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have post one night stand depression
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize