I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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