Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
